There are five aspects of forgiveness that are necessary to consider and experience. In order to become better Christians, we need to understand, receive and willingly apply these principles to our own lives.
1 Receiving forgiveness from God
2 Asking forgiveness of others
3 Forgiving ourself
4 Forgiving God
5 Forgiving others
Notice point two and point five. Often we ask others to forgive us, but are we as willing to forgive others under all circumstances? Many times before we forgive, we have to think about it first before even considering forgiveness.
Receiving Forgiveness from God
Los Angeles is well known as a very rough and unstable environment with several gangs living there. For a time that is where I lived and worked as a colporteur and Bible worker. Once I was studying and praying with two Bible workers in a public place. As we knelt together we were unaware of being watched by a young man, a gangster who appeared to be in his mid-twenties. He could be easily identified as a gangster by the type of clothing that he wore. Within gangs, the tougher you look the more impressive you are and the more respect you get from the other gang members.
We continued to pray, “Lord, we pray that You will remove from us every spot and every wrinkle so that we can be sure to inherit the kingdom of heaven. Father, we know the blood of Jesus that was shed on the cross has the power to heal, has the power to cleanse and has the power to restore all that are willing to change. Though their sins be as scarlet, You will make them as white as snow (Isaiah 1:18), as white as the clouds in the sky.”
As we finished praying, the young man approached us, and while still holding a beer in his hand, said to us, “Do you mean that everything I have done and every horrible thing that I have been involved in and do, the blood of Jesus can make me as a new creature, a new man?”
I responded, “Yes, but the blood has no power unless you confess to God everything that you have done wrong. Then the blood has the power to cleanse.”
He then asked, “How does this work? I don’t understand what you are saying. I cannot process all of what you are telling me. Can you give me a picture?”
I told him the following story: A company I knew that manufactured home cleaning products once gave three gallons of chlorine to its workers, free of charge every week, to test the product in a home environment. The employees were required to document on a survey form their opinion of the effectiveness of the product. The manager was eager to develop a detergent to clean filth and dirt from clothes, yet he did not appear to be particularly concerned with his own personal hygiene, as every time he would come to the laboratory, his appearance was dirty.
I told the young man, “That is exactly as the blood of Jesus. The blood has power, but we must willingly apply it faithfully and use its cleansing power. Only then will we become as a clean man. Many of us can be in the same situation as the manager who developed a strong detergent but neglected to use it himself. There is power in the blood of Jesus, but first it needs to be acknowledged, then accepted to have an effect. Once we confess our sins to Him, the power of the blood will kick in as it is applied to our life.”
The young man listened intently and replied, “Really? I want that, brother; I want it really bad.” He threw the can of beer he was holding away and continued, “I really want to become a Christian. I am sick of the way I am living.” From that point on we had Bible studies, and I never saw him drink alcohol again. Years have passed since that day he gave his heart to Jesus. He became a Seventh-day Adventist, has since married, and now has his own family.
Some of us are not willing to surrender everything to God. The first step is to recognize our need of a Saviour and then receive the forgiveness that is offered by God. Many of us are not willing to admit the deep secrets of which others are unaware and the personal struggles that we have. This denial and refusal to surrender to God is often the cause of developing an angry personality, which ultimately becomes very aggressive in nature. Consequently, this attitude then spills over into the family, affecting everyone negatively. There is much relief in acknowledging our faults to God and confessing our sins. “Our heavenly Father has a thousand ways to provide for us, of which we know nothing. Those who accept the one principle of making the service and honor of God supreme will find perplexities vanish, and a plain path before their feet.” The Desire of Ages, 330.
Those who, instead of surrendering themselves to God, avoiding their conviction, attempting to excuse themselves or justifying whatever they are doing, only deceive themselves. Many Christians are deceiving themselves. Many refuse to die to self and fall on the Rock, Christ Jesus, and for this reason, divorce rates are climbing and child abuse is flourishing. If each one would consider others as more important than themselves and fill the role that has been divinely appointed to them, there would not be the amount of suffering or broken families that we see today.
Some people say, “I have no problem with God being my Saviour, but I do have a problem with making Him everything, because that means He has control of my life.” To experience real forgiveness is to allow God to take hold of the reigns by confessing and surrendering everything to Him. They will be amazed at the difference it makes, experiencing the power of the blood of Jesus in every aspect of their life.
An illustration in the book, Streams in the Desert, by Mrs. Charles Cowman (Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan, 1928; 1965 by Cowman Publications), pictures a woman looking out from her window at the mountains. A leaf hanging from a little branch is seen clearly from the window, and as the dew of the early morning forms, she watches, as the dew becomes a drop of clean, fresh water. Drop upon drop is formed and drips to regions below. She peers down to see where the water is going. As she watches she traces its descent into the gutter. Reflecting on the contrast between the pure glistening dewdrops and the gutter water, she begins to pray: “Lord, I am, I know, like that gutter water, filthy, contaminated, dirty but I know You can make me to be like this drop of dew from the branch.” Time went by, and the Lord answered her prayer.
Elsewhere in the same book, she relates how she read about the cycles of city water and decided that she “wanted to see where some of the water from the city went.”
As she followed the water, the filthy, polluted water, she noticed what happened. It was morning, and as the sun came out, some of the water evaporated. The water arose into the heavens, gathering to begin a new cycle in the never-ending cycle of water. And then that evaporated water, once filthy and polluted, now gathered into the heavens, formed clouds, and descended in the form of refreshing, life-giving rain, purified and cleansed, ready to impart life and vigor to the earth.
It was God who designed that the early dew of the morning and the evaporation of water forming clouds for the rain would provide clean, clear water to refresh the earth. So what can we learn by these little vignettes of the morning dew and the gutters of the cities? They provide a representation of the filth and pollution of sin in our lives, refreshed and cleansed by the power of the love and forgiveness of God, which in turn we, cleansed and forgiven, radiate to those around us. Just as water, once filthy, impure and polluted rises to be cleansed and purified to return to the earth with life giving vigor, so God takes the impurities of our lives and cleanses and purifies us, so we can share with others His redeeming love. The Lord is the Living Water. See John 4:10–14.
This world is like that cycle of water. The drop of water, once pure and clean, is like the world right after creation. Adam and Eve were created in the image of God, without blemish, without wrinkles, without sin—perfect human beings. Then, like the drop of dew falling into the gutter, sin entered God’s perfect creation, and because of disobedience, purity turned into the filthiness like that of the gutter. But just as the water that evaporates in the sun, God says that through Jesus Christ, we can be changed, transformed, converted and pure again. He can do that; it is the cycle of the spiritual life.
God is able to transform all of us from that drop of water in the gutter into the dew. He can do the same with our mind, with our heart, with our own habits. Whatever we have, God is able to transform us into His sons and daughters.
All we have to do is get to that point where we can say, “Lord, I have done so many things wrong; I need your help; I ask for forgiveness.”
Asking Forgiveness from Others
Even if we have not done anything against anyone, we are told, “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.” Matthew 5:23, 24.
The word of God says, “If thy brother has something against thee.” We might not have anything against our brother, but if we do the Lord says, “Don’t come to worship Me when you still have bitterness or bad feelings against your brother. Go and sort it out first; then come and worship. Leave your gift and go and make peace with your brother and then come back and give me your offering” (Matthew 18:15, 5:24). Sometimes we do not care about others and have a rude and arrogant attitude towards our brethren, but the Lord gives explicit instruction about such, “Don’t do that; go and make peace with your brother and sister and after peace has been made, then come and give your offerings to Me.”
This is a very important step in humility. In the sanctuary service, there are three distinct steps to pass through: the altar of sacrifice, the holy place and the holy of holies or most holy place. As we enter into the court through the gate, which represents Jesus, the first article of furniture to be seen is the altar of sacrifice. After repenting and making peace with God and accepting the sacrifice of Jesus, we must pass the laver, the place of washing situated in the courtyard right before we can enter into the holy place. If we are not reconciled with our brother, holding onto differences and grudges, we do not grow spiritually and are left behind in the outer court. Those differences must be resolved before entering into the holy place.
After Cain killed Abel, Jesus asked Cain, “Where is thy brother?” And Cain answered, “Am I my brother’s keeper [Geneses 4:9]?” If we are not willing to forgive others, if we are not our brother’s keeper, we are our brother’s killer. The Bible is very clear about this in I John 3:15, “Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.” This is very serious business, as there will be no murderers in heaven. We need to pray to God to show us if we have anything in our hearts or our minds that is against anybody. The Bible says, “You shall not kill” (Exodus 20:13). If I am breaking the commandments, the Lord says, “No commandment breaker will enter into the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 7:21). Jesus taught His disciples to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” Matthew 6:12. Here we see that our sins are forgiven as we also forgive others.
Forgiving Ourselves
Many children of God are living in a self-condemned state. Although God forgives their sins after they have genuinely repented and confessed them, they find it hard to forgive themselves. In many of these instances, they have trouble sleeping and are constantly worried. The Lord says, “My son, confess it to Me and you are forgiven” (1 John 1:9). We also need to forgive ourselves for what we have done. Some of us allow the devil to make us feel so guilty. Satan loves to make us feel miserable, guilty, and worthless. We must remember John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” The Lord says, “I sent My Son, My only begotten Son, to die for you.”
Paul says, “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” Romans 8:1. We need to forgive ourselves, believe and apply the Word of God to our lives, and say, “Lord, I am going to give honor and glory unto You in my life, and I will no more feel sorry for myself. I believe that You died and now live again; You gave me this hope that I will carry on a life worthy of You, Lord. I accept your forgiveness for my sins, and I turn myself over to You. Thank you, Jesus!”
Forgiving God
This is the most difficult and the most critical task for Christians today. Many blame God for everything bad that happens. I was in India when the earthquake that struck Haiti (January 12, 2010) was brought to my attention. A Hindu man approached me and said, “You are a Christian. Explain to me why your God allowed this earthquake to destroy these people. Are you willing to forgive your God?”
I replied, “Forgive God? For what? God doesn’t require any forgiveness. We often do not have the understanding of why God does what He does or why He allows things to happen, but He knows why.”
Others question God when tragedy strikes their family. They ask, “Why did you take my wife away from me?” “Lord, you took my husband. Why?” “Why do you allow my son to be so sick?” “Why is my daughter dying?” “Why am I suffering this economic crisis?” Why this? Why that?
There is often no answer to the question, Why?
God is Holy and just and good, but many of us doubt and question Him instead of trusting in Him that all things work out for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). He who knows the end from the beginning has all of this world’s affairs in His hand and is well able to direct matters for the good of all.
God created everything in the beginning to be perfect (Genesis 1:1, 31). It was because of disobedience that things went astray. The disasters we often experience are a direct result of sin. Some things that happen to us are a direct result of our own personal sins. Others are natural consequences of 6,000 years of collective sin over which we have no control. Continual questioning and holding grudges against God for such circumstances will cause our love for Him to grow cold. That will affect our ability to pray and trust Him due to our anger and unwillingness to forgive. Those who are faithful will, one day, understand all things, but for now, we must exercise faith, trust, and patience.
Forgiving Others
I grew up in a large family. Sometimes when I did something to one of my sisters or brothers and asked them to forgive me, they would say, “Yeah, you feel sorry, sure, and you ask me to forgive you just like that. Oh, no! You will need to do something for me before I forgive you.” That may have meant taking over all the chores for the next two weeks and then, at the end of that time, there may be more required of me. I was never able to pay the debt and buy my forgiveness.
We often forget or ignore the fact that God freely forgives, expecting nothing in return except a change of heart and a new direction of obedience. But so many of us are willing to forgive others, only with reservations. “I forgive you, but I am going to keep a distance from you from now on. I forgive you, but I no longer trust you! I have got to keep my eyes on you.” When Peter asked how many times we were to forgive, Jesus said seventy times seven (Matthew 18:22). How frequently have we had to repent and ask God for forgiveness for the same sin? And don’t we expect to be forgiven each time? Maybe we should remember our own pathetic experience when dealing with others!
Coming to God with a contrite heart, He is willing time after time to forgive and then cleanse us from all of our unrighteousness. When was the last time we forgave someone and then helped them over a sin problem? Working through a problem often means there is a stronger bond between the parties that once had ought against each other. Working together, showing true repentance and forgiveness builds a bond of trust that has been proven and tried. That is the experience that God is having with us—we repent of our sins and He forgives us, creating a bond of love that no man can break.
Having forgiveness for others is crucial to our salvation. “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14, 15. Without our sins forgiven there is no way to have eternal life.
When we learn the principle of forgiveness, we will show that the love of Christ is in us, and one day we will hear the words, “It’s over My son; the kingdom of heaven is yours. Well done, My good and faithful servant; enter into My joy” (Matthew 25:23).
Pastor Domingo Nuñez is Director of Outreach Ministry for Steps to Life. He is involved in the coordination of world mission projects and he travels extensively, encouraging the many home churches supported by Steps to Life. He can be contacted at: 316-788-5559, or by email at: domingonunez@stepstolife.org.